Disappointments come in countless shapes and sizes: people who let us down, bad weather that ruins our day out, work projects that we spend a lot of time on that aren’t successful. Whatever the disappointments are, they can cause stress, anger, frustration and more.

If we want to be happy, we must rise above disappointment. How? We can think positive statements such as, “I won’t let this destroy my happiness anymore. I can – and I will – be happy anyway.” Then we put into action strategies to make us feel happier.

One strategy is to lower our expectations. When expectations are set too high, and they aren’t met, it can lead to disappointment.

Below are ideas that I use to help me deal with disappointment. They might also work for you.
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The day of the job interview has arrived. My heart is beating quickly. I feel sick in the stomach. Another trip to the bathroom appears likely. Questions are on my mind: “Will the interviewers like me?” “Will I be able to answer their questions?” “What will they think of my dress sense?”

The interviewers will judge how I look, what I say, how I speak, my body language…. How will I cope? Good grief, I’m starting to tremble.

This was me many years ago on the eve of my job interviews. But now that I’ve had a fair number of job interviews – and learnt a lot along the way through trial and error – I’ve changed a lot.

Gone are the nerves and the stress. I now feel calm, confident and happy both leading up to, and during, job interviews.

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A recent survey of 2,000 UK workers revealed that 80% are unhappy with their jobs. A recent Gallop poll of over 150,000 US workers had a similar finding: 70% of Americans either do not like their jobs or are uninspired at work.

Many managers try to make their staff happy using perks, such as half-day Fridays and free lunches. But do perks work? Randy Allen is the Associate Dean of Cornell University’s Samuel Curtis Johnson Graduate School of Management. Allen said that: “There’s a lot of research out there that says, although it depends on the employee, the perks come out as less important as job satisfaction. Having a satisfying job, a manager you respect and job growth opportunities is more important. If you don’t have those fundamentals, the perks aren’t going to fix it. You may keep them for a while, but at some point they’re going to leave.”

So if your boss sucks, the passion for your work has gone, or you’re not challenged at work – three common reasons why people hate their jobs – you’ll most likely need more than perks to make you happier at work.

Try the tips below to boost your spirits at work and in your spare time.

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Did you know that my new ebook is out? Called Inspiration for Tough Times: Ideas to Inspire, Uplift and Empower, the book aims to help us cope better and feel happier during the hard times in our lives.

The ebook is a compilation of some articles on Extra Happiness, along with some bonus chapters. About 4,000 words, nearly 25% of the book, is new material not published on Extra Happiness.

Why write the book? I want to help many people all over the world improve their health and happiness. A short ebook can be easier to navigate compared to finding this information on extrahappiness.com.au. Also, the ebook is available in many formats. This means that you can read it easily on most ebook readers, including your iPad, iPhone, Kindle, Nook, Kobo or Sony Reader.

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Recently I read a post in a health forum on the Internet. It was written by a friend of a young man who became a paraplegic from a car accident. After the accident the man decided he would enjoy life despite his paralysis. He started playing wheelchair hockey and pursued other fulfilling pastimes. The person wrote in the forum that his friend was a happy man who lived life to the full.

I know of another young man, who was excellent runner. His running career suddenly ended when he became a paraplegic after a car accident. He found it hard to adjust to his new life, which led to his suicide at an early age.

Two people dealt two similar situations but responded very differently. One dies and the other thrives.
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During these tough economic times jobs are being slashed across the globe. The unemployment rate is increasing. Retrenchments and redundancies are common.

Losing your job can be sad, lonely and stressful. You might be missing friends at work or not know when you’ll get a stable income again.

But it’s not all bad news. Below are some ideas to help us be happy after a job loss.
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Has worry ever eroded away your happiness? Did your thoughts overwhelm you, and sap your energy and creativity? Did you lose sleep, eat too much, or too little, or just feel anxious? If so, it’s likely you were suffering from toxic worry.

A small amount of constructive worry can be good for us. It can help us avoid dangerous situations and prevent us from ruining our health and happiness. Too much worry, however, can negatively affect our lives, and the lives of those close to us.
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Why are some people’s spirits crushed after tough times, yet other people come out stronger? It’s the nature of their thoughts. It’s their underlying beliefs and philosophies. It’s their coping strategies.

I received an email a while ago about the story of a young boy who saw a cocoon with a butterfly inside. The animal’s wings were partially out of the cocoon, flapping. The boy was upset at what he saw, as it looked like the butterfly was in pain and struggling. Thinking he’d like to help the butterfly, he opened the cocoon to free it. The butterfly died; it was not ready to escape because it was weak and underdeveloped. The struggle the boy perceived the butterfly to be in was really a necessary way for the butterfly to develop the strength needed to live.

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